An Artist in Pursuit of the Ambiguous

February 5, 2018


I presented a speech in speech class today... here it is:


To be honest, I am tired of having this conversation. Some days, I think I shouldn’t have to explain anything. But, we all have feelings of being misunderstood. And being that I have anxiety, I tend to feel misunderstood in almost everything I do. You can understand sometimes it is a very annoying existence.


So here I am, explaining what it means to be an artist.


Many people possess artistic qualities and many have artistic capabilities. It can get tiring making things deep, but to be an artist is deeper than having artistic capabilities. Growing up, art was really all I knew. Not only was I surrounded by artists, but I was constantly enveloped in it, I am becoming it. The world around me becomes it everyday. To be an artist is to look at the world around you and feel the vividness of everything. You see the story, or what could be a story in everything. Every scenery is almost cinematic in a sense and you feel it in a cinematic way. You could imagine how emotional that could become.


Being an artist means I work hard every day to separate myself from the world around me, to separate my emotions so that I do not become too attached because if I do, I almost want to hold everything on my shoulders that is wrong with the world.


But what makes us all similar is that in the pursuit of making things better, we all feel the pressure.


It’s not like that for all artists though. The one word we associate with art is interpretation. Clearly, things feel different for everyone.


I brought in three objects which reflect where I am with my art lately. I make films, much of which deal with fashion concepts, but are inspired by the music I hear. I always thought I would be an audio based artist or a writer, but towards the end of my high school career, I felt the need to tell my story and to tell stories in general, visually. I realized this is because many things become hard to explain, but can be easier to show.


That being said, every day I feel the weight of my goals as I become overwhelmed by the process of accomplishing them. There is a lot of pressure in creating something that’s better, something that shines, and something that makes beautiful, whatever that may be. As I being to take more control over my decisions, it gets harder to convince others why I think they are the best right now and it gets harder to make them. But as I take things on day by day and remind myself that all of the pressure is not on me because God carries it, I am able to ...breathe.


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