As I sit listening to ambient music from my “NIGHT” playlist on Spotify, I can recall a very strange time in ninth grade where I experienced an almost out-of-body sensation as I cried to God, “why is the world like this.” I am not sure how I came to that place. I think I can faintly remember getting up right after because the food my mom was cooking, was ready. Just like that, it was over, but it sticks with me to this day. If I were to show you that experience in a film, it would look like the world was spinning really fast and I was in the middle of that world watching it spin really fast. There was an overwhelming feeling but in it my sense of purpose. I’ve never really told this to anyone, but that is when I realized my purpose was to make the world a better place with my art and by helping renew the earth we live on. In that process, maybe my art would help people become their better selves.
To this day, I am still very interested in health. Looking back, my parents have always been and will always be supportive of me. Whatever I wanted to do, they helped foster that passion in me and kept my interest alive. They still do. I wanted to be a doctor for a while. By the time I attended medical camp, the summer of ninth grade, I figured I did not want to be a doctor anymore. But, the camp still kept that interest in the field, alive. By tenth grade, I knew I wanted to pursue a career in filmmaking. What I was going through at the time along with that overwhelming event I mentioned above, helped bring that to light. I found that I had been more able to express myself through writing films. I had always been an arts kid since the time I was born, so it was not a far-fetched idea. I remember telling myself, “there are other ways to help people besides being a doctor.” Granted, we do need an abundance of better doctors. But, that’s just not me.
But it is that same passion for health and for better living that fuels my purpose of wanting to make the world a better place. I mean, do or don’t we all? But I would take a more environmentalist approach. It sounds great to make the world a better place for people, but it seems that the world would become a better place, first, if we cared for it better. Kanye is my favorite artist, for sure. His (originally Daft Punk’s) famous phrase, “harder, better, faster, stronger” became the crux of what angle my purpose would stem from. The world we see in movies and read about in books where everything is harder, better, faster, and stronger is on its way to becoming more of a reality as far as technology is concerned. But the problem here, that I have heard mentioned somewhere else I cannot recall, is that technology is advancing faster than humanity can advance with it.
So this is kind of segwaying into how it would help me, help others, help the world. First, promoting this idea would get others into the mindset that would begin the change. Once people get over themselves and get over each other, with this phrase in mind, they can become more. Imagine if meanwhile, we are capturing each other’s stories. I don’t know about everyone else, but I am constantly moved when I see and hear about other people’s stories and either how they overcame them or did not allow whatever was their fault-line to cause their whole life to shake up. I am moved when I see, hear, and feel, the changes we are making for the betterment of the earth and of humanity. Imagine, actually progressing, while still keeping this narrative as our perspective on reality. The world would definitely be a better place, even if it becomes shrouded in darkness. The love energies we preserve will be enough to hold us all together. That’s just a vision.
So, like I mentioned in my speech class, you end up feeling like an artist in pursuit of the ambiguous, and it is really difficult to pursue something that is so ambiguous. You cannot describe it to your friends and family in terms of what your career or job would look like. You cannot assure them, either way, that things would be stable for you. But I am to the point where nothing anyone says would be able to dim the fire, the light inside of me that brings me to pursue something… so ambiguous as wanting to make the world a better place through my art. In saying it this way, it doesn’t sound so uncommon, does it? It is no fool’s errand either. Maybe, it is just a task too big for one person. We just have to be inspired enough-- optimistic enough.